8:00 AM Upon getting to work, where I also work with kids. I knew today was going to be a good one when one of the girls who runs my classroom attempting to start some kind of pretend dog fight ring in the library. She demanded all the kids pretend to be dogs and then she literally chose two at a time to battle it out in the octagon, aka, the library. Trying to separate fighting children is hard enough, but trying to separate fighting children who are pretending to be fighting dogs seemed out of my pay grade at 8am.
10:30AM I check my phone to see I have about six texts from a ex who is currently engaged. SIX FUCKING TEXTS. What could this man who was smart enough to ask a girl to marry him after a thrilling six week relationship have to say to me that couldn't wait. I should of known, this guy, this fucking jerk who I gave all of my precious teen years and early twenties to is having doubts about getting married because he thinks we never got the shot we deserved. Apparently me being married for seven years and having two kids wasn't enough of a giant flashing sign that I had moved on. He has the nerve to come along and say all the things your inner bitch secretly always wants to hear from the guy who left you broken. My inner bitch was still thrilled but my outside bitch was annoyed. If I was 17 again I might of screenshotted these texts and sent them to his fiance to make her aware of what she was getting herself into. But the fact she decided to marry a man she has only known three months, I feel like she might have set herself up for this a little. Part of me wants to drag it out and hear all the things I always wanted and at some point needed to hear from this asshole. How dare this guy come along and suddenly start telling me I am the one who got away, that he still is in love with me and realized I am going to be the one who haunts him for the rest of his life. Do I feel the same? WHAT THE FUCK. I do the only logical thing I can do. I screenshot these texts and send them to my best friend. We laugh and discuss how we always knew this day would come, although we bet at one point he might come out as a power bottom in the future. I laugh on the outside but the inside of me is slightly furious. We always hope for this moment to come when we break up with someone, that some day they would come along and realize what they gave up. Even better to have them realize this in the moments before they marry someone else. But today this just made me angry, I wished he had left this unsaid. It made me feel dirty, like I was wronging this poor girl, or discussing things that would piss my husband off ( although I told him about all this). I felt like him telling me this gave us this stupid secret we would have to share. In the future when I see his pictures of his wedding or honeymoon or stupid wine tour photos people take, I am going to know this poor girl had no idea her fiance was confessing his "haunting" love for his ex girlfriend. And who the hell talks like that? "You're going to haunt me for the rest of my life" what the fuck.
So today I learned that some days start with smiles and vomit. Some days your job consists of child/dog fight clubs, and some days the things we secretly hope for in the last final days of a brutal breakup might come along someday. That guy will eventually realize his mistakes, that asshole will miss you, but in my case he waited eight ten years, two kids and a happy marriage to come along and say it. So just like I thought, some guys really are fucking idiots. Who knows where I might have ended up if he had realized this a week, or a month after. Ten years, means he dated many girls, had failed relationships and probably compared those girls to you, I should be happy he realized what we had was more than what he thought it was, but I am not. I am just angry, and annoyed and ultimately bittersweet about the whole thing. We think we want to be told these things, we might even dream about the day our ex realized what they lost, but trust me.. I wished I didn't know. I wish he had never told me. I would rather of looked back and thought how it was supposed to end when it did, and be none the wiser.
My bet is still that he is going to come out as a power bottom.
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